What Makes It All Worth It

How many of us have touched a pregnant woman's belly...other than our own? Do you have memories of being able to explore your mom's belly when she was pregnant with a sibling? Did you have an older sister who granted access to this joy? An Aunt? Friend? How humbling and healing it is for those of us who do not have those memories from childhood to be able to provide that human connection for our daughters. I adore the fact that my girls, ages 13 and 4 are, so trusting, so interested, so in awe of this process that they seek out my company to ask questions, to explore the awareness of the life within me, to question the impact of growing life on my emotions, my well-being, my sanity. They have come to accept a newfound vulnerability in me which makes me somehow more human and this has lead to the ability to shrug off the notion that I am some sort of Mommy-Bot who is programmed to fulfill every request for juice or homework assistance with blind, automaton devotion. Click the Read More link to continue

In the movie What Babies Want, there is a particular scene which embodies the feelings I am having at this point in pregnancy. Sobonfu Some is leading a traditional pregnancy ritual from her homeland. Several pregnant (Western, I might add) women are participating. The non-pregnant women crouch down and talk to the baby in the womb. They lay their hands on the belly and tell the baby how special and welcomed and loved they already are. The one momma-to-be is overwhelmed by this outpouring of love for her baby, and begins to cry a bit. The woman talking to her baby stands up and uses the lapel of her shirt to gently dry the tears on this mommas face. Which of course makes her cry more. There is so much vulnerability in that moment. I cry each and every time I see it...echoing that very same level of vulnerability.

How many times in our adult lives has a women shown us that kind of tenderness? As adults, as mothers, we are programmed to give that attention to our children, to our husbands, hell--to our pets...but how many times have we been the recipient of true tender loving care without feeling self conscious or dismissive-- "Oh no, I'm fine, thanks anyway!"

Allowing my girls to see that I am indeed human and in need of love, tenderness, and support is not displaying weakness or co-dependence. I am not asking them to fix the feelings I am having or even to provide helpful advice. They are responding as human beings. They gather around me and silently agree to simply exist by my side for a few minutes...to simply acknowledge my humanity. I cannot help but congratulate myself for modeling this, for having already taught them the value of giving for no other reason than observing that someone needs them to give. I am already so proud of the sisters they are, the women they are turning into, and the mother's they will become someday.

The 39th week is therefore dedicated to my two lovely daughters who have reminded me that humanity is one of the most beautiful gifts we can share. I challenge you to take off your super-woman mask for an hour or two and allow someone to see your humanity this week.