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Justines Story: Gabriella |
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Written by Justine Julian
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1994
When i found out that i was pregnant five years after Brenton's birth, I cried and cried for days. I knew that “once a cesarean, always a cesarean” meant that i would have another humiliating, shameful, painful birthing experience. I was distraught for weeks. Even though I have considered an abortion, simply because I was so traumatized by my sons birth. Instead, I called a midwife.
Sara, my new midwife, assured me that a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) was a real possibility for women who wanted to attempt a natural labor and birth. I was so relieved and started researching every medical study and publication about VBAC that i could find. Sara shared all of the same philosophies that i did about attachment parenting, breastfeeding, gentle birth choices, and trusting in a womens body to do its intended job. My labor was hard and very long. Thirty six hours of very intense labor with very slow progress. My midwife and my doula stayed by my side the whole time, rubbing my back, giving me encouragement, telling me how strong and capable i was, Assuring me that everything was progressing normally—that everything i was doing and feeling were normal. That choosing to change positions was natural and helpful. If my body wanted to stand or sit or walk, I should listen to it. Finally, while in a squatting position, supported by my husband and my doula, right before midnight on my third day in labor, my nearly ten pound daughter slid into the world after two gentle pushes. Her face was pretty mashed up and her head looked like a SNL skit! Within a few hours, she was rosy and pink and round just like a baby should be! But my body did it...and instantly the pain and memory of the long hours proceeding her arrival vanished! I was so proud of myself. The nurses and the midwife and my Doula hugged me and cooed over my darling new girl. She latched on to my breast right away and began a nursing relationship that would nourish her for the next 20 months of her life. I was up and about with 20 minutes and went home later the next day. Within a few weeks i back into my pre-pregnancy clothes and was enjoying the incredible self confidence I had, as well as the positive feelings about my ability to parent both of my children more successfully. I still felt incredible guilt about my sons birth. I wished that i could have been THIS kind of parent to him...a parent filled with positive feelings and pride. |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 19 May 2008 14:07 )
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Homebirth Journals
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Kelley's Pregnancy Journal |
 Welcome To A Brand New Homebirthing Journey
Follow Kelley and her growing family as they embark on their journey into parenthood. She was present for our homebirth with Mathilda and I cannot think of anyone who deserves to have a lovelier pregnancy and birthing experience than Kelley and her incredibly talented, generous and thoughtful hubby, Kevin. Congratulations & Blessings to them and their family! |
The last two weeks or so have not been the easiest.
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| Milestone: I just threw up for the first time. |
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Say Goodbye to Justine's Pregnancy Notebook |
And Welcome to a NEW Column...Coming Soon.  Stay tuned for a brand new Pregnancy Notebook; follow along with first time momma, Kelley, as she embarks on her homebirthing adventure. |
Visit the Birth Stories page to read about our beautiful homebirth. Want to share your birth story with my readers? All types of birth stories are welcome. Visit the Contact Me page to send your story! |
March 15th: Happy Birthday, Mathilda! First moment  
Born 10:13pm, 8lbs 6 oz, 22 inches long. I am enjoying our peaceful babymoon and spending all of my time nursing and marveling. I will say this---homebirth was the BEST decision we have ever made. Momma & bebe could not be healthier, happier or more peaceful. Our little Miss Tillie Tobin has yet to even cry...she is alert and turns her head towards all the voices she knows and loves without having to tune out invasive hospital noises. She has not had one single thing poked into her skin, or eyes, or nose or bottom. She makes sounds like a kitten. We are crazy in love with her. more soon... |
 Yes. I am still pregnant! This is the most commonly heard question around our house these days.
We all know that due dates are just guidelines, but this time around I suppose I really believed everyone when they proclaimed that I would "go early with baby #4" Oh the power of suggestion! Actually I was reading this article on due date calculation and it looks like many American women should really be expecting their babies around the 42nd week rather than 40 weeks. As a doula, I have not seen a 40 week pregnancy that is managed by OB's at all. Most women who plan to birth in a hospital setting are induced by week 39. And let me tell you how tempting that thought has been these past few days. Instead of being up all night tossing and turning with crampy contractions for hours and hours, I could be up all night nursing my new baby. I could simply show up at the hospital at 3am with my regular contractions, they would assess me, determine that I wasn't progressing very well, offer to induce and all I would have to say is YES. The cost would be that I'd have to give up freedom of movement, privacy, comfort, and my dignity. I would be heavily monitored, hooked up to an IV, have multiple cervical checks which would increase my risk of infection and antibiotic use. I would be offered pain medication often and told that I wouldn't earn a medal for doing it the hard way. I would increase my risk of a cesarean section. I would increase the likelihood that my baby would be separated from me after the birth to be cleaned up and assessed by the staff. I might possibly expose myself and my baby to MRSA. Click on the Read More link to continue |
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Birth Stories 
