The Birth of Baby Gabriella 1994
When i found out that i was pregnant five years after Brenton's birth, I cried and cried for days. I knew that “once a cesarean, always a cesarean” meant that I would have another humiliating, shameful, painful birthing experience. I was distraught for weeks. Even though I have considered an abortion, simply because I was so traumatized by my sons birth. Instead, I called a midwife.

 Sara, my new midwife, assured me that a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) was a real possibility for women who wanted to attempt a natural labor and birth. I was so relieved and started researching every medical study and publication about VBAC that i could find. Sara shared all of the same philosophies that i did about attachment parenting, breastfeeding, gentle birth choices, and trusting in a woman's body to do its intended job.

My labor was hard and very long. Thirty six hours of very intense labor with very slow progress. My midwife and my doula stayed by my side the whole time, rubbing my back, giving me encouragement, telling me how strong and capable i was, Assuring me that everything was progressing normally—that everything i was doing and feeling were normal. That choosing to change positions was natural and helpful. If my body wanted to stand or sit or walk, I should listen to it. Finally, while in a squatting position, supported by my husband and my doula, right before midnight on my third day in labor, my nearly ten pound daughter slid into the world after two gentle pushes. Her face was pretty mashed up and her head looked like a SNL skit! Within a few hours, she was rosy and pink and round just like a baby should be! But my body did it...and instantly the pain and memory of the long hours proceeding her arrival vanished! I was so proud of myself. The nurses and the midwife and my Doula hugged me and cooed over my darling new girl. She latched on to my breast right away and began a nursing relationship that would nourish her for the next 20 months of her life. I was up and about with 20 minutes and went home later the next day. Within a few weeks i back into my pre-pregnancy clothes and was enjoying the incredible self confidence I had, as well as the positive feelings about my ability to parent both of my children more successfully. I still felt incredible guilt about my sons birth. I wished that i could have been THIS kind of parent to him...a parent filled with positive feelings and pride.