This post can also be found on API Speaks!

My 14 month old kicks her feet against the table and makes a deafening screech while reaching for her Daddy's beverage at the restaurant. As he allows her to have a sip of his drink, I look around to see how many fellow diners are tsk tsking our choice to allow our baby to drink what they must think is SODA! I have the overwhelming urge to announce "It's only unsweetened iced tea...really. She never has soda, I swear." But that would not be entirely true and besides, now our five year old is loudly promising to eat the rest of her pasta and veggies after she eats all of the french fries...she promises. The floor is covered in the crushed remains of the fire roasted zucchini and rice pilaf dish we ordered for the baby...her grinning mouth is dripping and bubbling with ice tea, not one single piece of food has passed her lips. I eat my (now cold) food with one hand (not my dominant one) while liberally applying even more ketchup to my daughters fries. My husband is fishing ice out of his cup with a fork to entice the baby with since the tea is now gone and the she is gearing up for another screech fest. Did I mention that our teenager ordered nothing but appetizers and is sulking in the corner of the booth because I went ahead and surreptitiously ordered her a salad and had the gall to ask her to please put some green food in her body before loading it with junk? The single thought running through my head is: If they eat this junky stuff, then everyone in the restaurant will assume that they eat like this all of the time...and that I let them do it!

My little T-Bird has just turned a whole big year old!  She now has the ability to run around the house grabbing stuff, she turns the pages of books all by herself,  and has developed some very well-honed pointing-at-everything-she-sees skills.  She also does some super-adorable things like kissing all of the kitties she sees in her picture books, rocking her baby doll, and saying Mmmmm whenever she gets near my breasts, which she calls "Na-Na's.  Her hair is long enough now that I can put two little piggy tails on top of her head (which look more like little horns than piggy tails)  She giggles manically at her own private little jokes and loves trying to walk backwards.

Along with all of the new found skills and cuteness lies a dark underside, however. T-Bird also protests (very loudly) to having to wait...well, for anything.  She protests (very loudly) to having her face wiped, to having her diaper changed, to relinquishing dangerous things she has fished out of trash cans, or from under the couch.  She screams (very loudly) if she is left in her high chair for one single second longer than her interest in food has lasted.  She screams (very loudly) when thwarted, when removed from perilous heights, or when she is asked politely to end her attempts to edit things on the keyboard while her momma is typing.

So it was no surprise to hear T-Bird holler (very loudly) when we began brushing her little tiny teeth with a real big kid toothbrush. We have been wiping her gums and teeth off with a cloth since she was born, but when she began to show interest in our toothbrushes, we made the upgrade to a fancy pink model with a grinning baby bear on it.  The toothbrush is almost as adorable as she is.  We sprung for two different varieties of brushing gel to use with it... one all-natural, the other flavored like faux fruit punch. Neither variety seemed to make much of an impact on the ear-splitting scream-fest that ensued when we were brushing, though.

This post is also up on API Speaks

Sir Hubby’s business is located two hours away from where we have been living. For the most part, he has been able to work remotely from home and that level of flexibility allowed us both to be full time AP’ers to our baby, T-Bird. But recently, he has taken on additional responsibility at work and his presence was required more and more. To conserve time, energy and gas, he began to sleep at the office a few nights a week. It quickly turned into all week.

The first few weeks were a bit novel for us: texting funny stories and pictures back and forth, looking forward to the weekends, helping the kids make art work to surprise Daddy with upon his return. The novelty quickly gave way to resentment, however, when the weekends turned into battles about who “deserved” to sleep in, who had put in a more stressful week, and whose turn it was to deal with kids who were rightly protesting the abrupt change from an Attachment style of parenting to a new-and not-so-improved Frustrated style. Something had to give, and we were not willing to let it be our family or the close relationship we have with our children any longer.

So, we started using the “M” word.

This article is also published on API Speaks! In the course of any given day, I know I make hundreds and hundreds of parenting choices. Some are mistakes. The majority are adequate. And a few rare ones are golden. Most of my parenting choices, however, seem to matter very little if measured in days. The accumulated effect of all those daily choices is what makes a baby into a kid and a kid into an adult. People seem to be chocked full of parenting advice for babies and young children, but by the time they get to be teens, many families I know are running for the nearest counselor. My 14 year old daughter Ella has school-mates and friends who are contending with depression, angry outbursts towards parents and teachers, running away, and even inflicting physical harm on themselves by cutting. Many suffer from eating disorders. She looks around her school at her peers and is often confused by these behaviors and attitudes. She will ask her friends “Why don't you talk to your mom about it?” to which her friends will reply “I can't talk to her about anything. She hates me.”

This article is also posted on API Speaks. Joy, love, and simplicity are certainly some of the most compelling reasons that our family has chosen to practice Attachment Parenting. AP principles, like keeping our baby close, responding to our children with sensitivity and respect, and engaging in night time parenting have made our lives infinitely sweeter, gentler, and less stressful. So, recently, when our family was asked to contend with an unexpected hardship we were grateful to already have the strong bonds, security, and trust that we have gained through our AP relationship.

As October comes to an end, it also marks the final days of Attachment Parenting Month. But as any family will surely attest, there really is no end to the drudgery celebration when it comes to parenting...just a series of metamorphosis. I know that many times in my parenting journey, I have thought When the baby passes this milestone, things will calm down, or When Bug learns to read, life will be less stressful or my most recent one: When Brent goes to live on campus, our lives will be simpler. But of course, because this is real life and not Fantasy Island, a new Hydra head grows challenge just steps in to replace the old one. At times, it can feel infuriating exhausting.

This article is also posted on API Speaks

This year’s invitation reads: Ella’s 14th Birthday Party! Bonfire — Music — Food — Fun! In lieu of presents, Ella requests that you please bring an item of warm winter clothing to donate to local children in need. And every year since 2003 the invitation has had a similar message. One year it was Toys For Tots and Ella was able to donate a veritable pirate’s booty of toys for the holiday season toy drive. We always get mixed responses to these birthday requests.

As told by new Home birthing Goddess, Emily.

Scarlett surprised everyone (except Jill) by coming a week early. Throughout last week, after a night of love with Jason (husband), I was having "late pregnancy symptoms" including a dull lower backache, PMS-y cramps and soft stools, beginning on my birthday, Sept. 11th. Some days the symptoms were so strong I felt convinced that labor was about to begin. Some days they would disappear altogether. I had also been waking up nightly to cramps and myself moaning. (Jason would moan back to me in his sleep, what a sweetheart!) Click on the Read More link to continue with Emily's story...